Memorial Day (A Letter to My Brother)

Greetings, On this Day of Remembrance which is called Memorial Day.

Sehal open its heart up to a wonderful friend and classmate by preserving his memory, as written by his loving sister Ms Renee D. Ferguson.

Renee is a loving Mother of a teen daughter; she is also engaged and owns her own line of jewelry while maintaining a full-time job. In-addition she holds a Bachelors degree in Telecommunications. She enjoys writing & reading poetry “spoken word”. Other interest include: Football, car racing, cooking, reading books. Sehal readers; come with me as we read a powerful letter of remembrance --- from the heart of the amazing sister ( letter to her big brother) of Mr. Duane Toatley.

When my brother passed, it felt as though I was hit by a ton of bricks. My heart was so very heavy, I couldn’t breathe and my train of thought dissipated.

I felt it all within a matter of seconds of being told the traumatic news. Who, what, why, when, where was all answered in the blink of an eye.

That’s how quickly it can happen, a milli-second, a life here today and gone tomorrow, my brother departed. His time in this world was already set. His life in the new world had begun and I’m joyful for his new beginning.

Of course, this was not my thought at the time, I was upset because in my mind, it was not his time and no one had the right to take him from me, his wife, children, mother, father, sister, and friends.

Though the Father wants only good for his children and would bring no harm or pain to them, he knows when it’s time to call us home.

Each of us had to continue to find peace within ourselves and bring it to the circle in which we live. We had to strive to be sources of love, compassion and comfort to one another through a time of not death, but celebration of life.

My brother the free spirit, deeply loved, athletically built, intellectual mind and true love for all was such a gift to us.

His smile was captivating and his gift of gab could persuade so easily. He gave his contribution while here on earth.

God replaced our sorrows with happiness; a touch of love is what he gives. God painted his canvas around you brother and you came alive, a new rebirth.

I treasure the memories and I also Thank God for the Blessing of remembrance.

Brother do your remember the days when we took turns playing 45 records in your room and pretend we’re Earth, Wind & Fire, Marvin Gaye & Tammy Terrell, oh and The Temptations singing and performing the dance moves to “Ball of Confusion”…what skills.

Do you remember when the family would drive to Florida for vacation and you & I would be in the backseat of the car having “Staring” contest. I could never win because your eyes would change colors and seemed as though they would spin like a gyroscope. I would always ask mom, how come he got the pretty eyes…I smile. I remember you allowing me to hang with you to the football and breakfast parties. You always checked on me to make sure I was ok and no one was trying to pick with me….my big bro.

Do you remember when we spent the night at our Aunts house and you made Cousin Ganie & I fight like we were in a boxing ring. Oh you had it all set up and ready for action. Once both of us starting crying from exhaustion, you let us stop and announce a winner or lack of…I laugh.

Do you remember when mom was calling us in the house from playing and we decided to race home. Mom was standing at the screen door holding it open for us and I ran into the ashtray she had in her hand because both of us couldn’t squeeze through. Wow, I had a black eye for about two weeks…ouch.

Do you remember when you made Chubby & I dance by shooting at our feet with a BB gun, like you were Clint Eastwood from one of his westerns….I laugh, then smile.

Do you remember during my Jr. Prom, my date & I were driving to a hotel, where I didn’t want to go. We saw you and gave you a lift home as you were walking from work and when you got out to go in the house, I did also…Thanks bro.

Do you remember when we went to our Aunt & Uncle’s house when they had crab feasts. We were so excited because we’d sneak in the kitchen and couldn’t believe how much crab meat was left. We later learned it was not crab meat but the lungs of the crab. We always wondered why it was so chewy and we couldn’t swallow it…yuck.

Do you remember when you enlisted in the Marine Corp and I was so proud of you. When you came home to visit, I would always brag and say...”My brother, the Few, the Proud, the “MARINE”….amazing!

I remember, I remember, I remember so much more and I will always Thank God for Memories, the good times, bad times, exciting times, special times, but it was all our time.

Our Love Is Everlasting.

~Renee Ferguson